From The White House

As you are aware, I am against cloning of the human species. Of any kind. One-hundred percent. But dogs are another matter. You can get your pet cloned in this country as we speak. For about thirty-grand, you can get your dog or cat cloned! But I got to thinking that I’d not only like to get my dog cloned, but get him ‘Super-Sized’ while they’re at it!

So here’s my new dog, ‘Super-Barney!’ Yes, I wanted another Barney, our black Scottish Terrier, but one the size of a St. Bernard. Now that’s something! Of course, I would have preferred to clone Spot, our English Springer Spaniel, but he died before we found out about pet cloning. I highly recommend this pet cloning. Make sure to ask about the ‘Super-Size’ option. And tell them ‘Dubya’ sent you!

Wow! What a grip she’s got! She’d probably give a great backrub. I think I’m gonna be calling her up sometime soon. A lot of times I’ll judge someone by their handshake. And Pelosi’s got a good one. That’s for sure. Not at all like Hillary Clinton’s. Hope I never have to touch that one again. Cold and clammy and darn right slimy. Who knows where it’s been!

Pelosi’s OK I guess. She kind of looks like she could be Laura’s older, smarter and more experienced sister. If you know what I mean. ; )

I like her meaty grip. Those beefy hands really impressed me. Regular ham hocks. I’m gonna call her 'Man-hands' from now on.